Affair

In any affair, there are at least 3 people involved: the partner who was unfaithful; the partner who was hurt; and the third party lover. Although, it could be said that sometimes the unfaithful partner also experiences a degree of hurt as a result of the affair, in general it is the person whose assumption of trust has been violated, who experiences the immense sense of betrayal and abandonment, and subsequently the greatest devastation. And more often than not, it will be this person (usually a woman) who will come to you seeking coaching. According to recent surveys, it is estimated that about 40% of married men and 20% of married women have affairs. But as coaches, we need to avoid making blanket judgements about who was at fault, if anyone. The truth is, we are all sexual beings and we are, none of us, immune to temptation. So we don’t take sides, and we don’t encourage an attitude of victimhood. The hurt party needs our support, not our commiseration. First, let’s understand that an affair doesn’t necessarily mean sexual intercourse. A good rule is, if someone isn’t prepared to do it with the full consent and knowledge of their partner, then it is probably an affair.