Hi I'm David Young. Ahhh, forgiveness... the ultimate gift you can give... to yourself! You might think there are some things that simply cannot be forgiven. You only need to watch the nightly news, to come to that conclusion. Bad things happen all the time, and forgiveness is based on our perception of bad things. So is forgiveness a bit judgmental? Does it presuppose there was a wrong committed and that we have the authority to judge it? Hmmm. Makes you think! Is it possible to truly forgive – literally meaning to give up our resentment, without judgment? Yes it is! And I’m going to describe a great technique to help your clients do just that. Forgiving is not about judging or forgetting, it’s about letting go of the hurt, learning the lesson it gave and moving forward in life with greater knowledge and greater strength. True forgiveness is incredibly empowering! Now, you’ll get clients who are still holding on to their hurt, their anger and their deep-seated resentment. Ironically though, these feelings do nothing to right their perceived wrongs, they are simply compounding the hurt, making it worse – like picking at a scab. So why do we do it? Why do we go back time and again to drink from that bitter, poisoned well? Our unconscious minds are always searching for ways to protect us. Plotting revenge, ruminating and wallowing in our resentments, primes us to avoid making similar mistakes. So, it serves an evolutionary purpose. Perversely, we can even find ourselves enjoying it. The problem is, of course, that resentment like everything else is habit forming. Unless it’s resolved, it returns to haunt us, hijacking our thoughts and our happiness, keeping us in “a victim mentality”. This is why forgiveness is a gift, first and foremost, to ourselves!
Forgiveness (Resentment)
