Human beings are fundamentally social creatures. We generally spend about 80% of our time in the company of others. Although, there are plenty of happy single people who live alone and many of us enjoy getting away from the crowd sometimes, and just being by ourselves. You see, being alone is not the same thing as being lonely. We don’t need to be alone to feel lonely and we don’t need to feel lonely when we’re alone. Loneliness is the perception that we are isolated, not physically isolated. It’s having no real connectedness to anyone, whether we’re alone or not. And it’s becoming more and more common in today’s faced-paced world, to have our eyes glued to our smart-phones and our ears stuck in our headphones, rather than interacting an engaging with the people around us. Social isolation is a modern epidemic, with about 1 in 5 people admitting to feeling very lonely at any given time. And loneliness hurts. I mean, it really hurts – just like physical pain. Studies have shown that our brains register social pain (like loneliness) in the anterior cingulated cortex, the same region as physical pain. To our brains, it’s all just pain. And when it’s chronic, loneliness can lead to serious health issues such as cardiovascular disease, obesity, depression, alcoholism and even Alzheimer’s and suicidal behaviour. What’s more, loneliness breeds more loneliness. When people are lonely they tend to display more anti-social behaviour, becoming more suspicious, less trusting, and even hostile towards others. This can create a vicious cycle of loneliness. Even non-lonely people grow lonelier if they spend time with lonely people. You see, loneliness – like happiness – is contagious! Because we pick up on the unconscious cues, the body language of those around us. So if you’re feeling lonely, people around you know it and are unconsciously avoiding you – making you even more lonely! So, how do we burst the lonely bubble for our clients? The key is to get them out of any self-pitying, “woe is me” mindset – because we know that this can be part of the problem. So, empathize but don’t indulge them. They need positive encouragement to change. I like to work on the level of the unconscious, using hypnotic language. Here’s a great example:
Loneliness
